$$$

Oh My God, after a month din step into my blog n just sign in i realize that blogger had change their templates n format again. Actually i  more prefer the old style wan because simple n easy n now i feel more complicated.

Anyway, according the previous post i had mention that i will change to new employer in May but what i want to announces here i had change my decision again because of few reason. This all already past n the conclusion I'm staying back my current company now. My feeling now feel much better because i can continue freedom n flexible n stress free when working at here,mmmm just sometimes got a bit bored feeling like now... hahaha...Really thanks to my boss given me a chance to stay bek here n i will appreciate of it. Thanks =)

Actually this few days much unhappy happening in my family n my relationship... This feeling gonna to kill me n think to left here for cold down but unless today had settle down everything but my feeling keep down now. What i was think now is about Money $$. Yup $$ again, n actually i just had argue with my boyfriend.

I feel myself in his heart just a small potato. I didn't feel any love n caring from him unless someday he really needs me. Get what i means ??? Shhh.....  Just now my bf give me a call n said that he take his salary n tonight will pass money to me, don't misunderstanding !!! He not given me pocket money n just a money that i help him pay for car loan wan. Then we had short conversation at the moment but this conversation getting more worst because we starting argue again because of the $$.

I asked him if can put much money into out saving bank acct in order fast to get up first goal but he acting nothing n try to say he is poor. I feel sad u know ? Poor ? I feel this all nonsense !!! Do u think that how many years we only can get first 10k in every month just keep saving Rm 200 ? Do u think enough for it? I definitely feel NO AT ALL... RM 200 is too little for one guy who are average can earn 4k n above. I just request him put more a bit in order for us getting saving much but he not think so. He feel that he keeps all the money in his bank is the safer n which mean keep in our saving acct not safe ? I don't know what he think at all... n just now he said me I'm control his money.

Maybe yes !!! I'm control because i don't want he always waste the money on the thing that worth but his mind not same what I'm thought. He also said that that money was him wan n he like how to spend i also can't control. This sentences making feel more disappointed, when a couples already have been for 5 years n  everyday sleep besides u ,he will talk this to u. I just feel that what I'm actually in his heart ? Maid ? Gf ? Or someone to provided a good services to him ? This always the very BIG question MARK in my mind. I want found this answer n unfortunately until now i can't found the answer yet. Anyone can let me know ?

Alright, I always tell myself that i have to accept all the good n bad of him because i really love him but izzit he will think the same thing ? I'm don't think so, very simply only !!! What he willing do for me ? He can answer my question ? Why my Mr Right can being so selfish n not love me ? I tell u a funny thing, lucky he don't know my blog if he read all this he sure say all this bullshit. This is not the first time he say to me.....