27 AuGusT 2009, ThuRsDaY

Today 27 August 2009, Thursday. Start from 2 days ago i very hate myself and no mood to do everything;( My heart like broken d and until today my heart still not yet getting normal ( not real heart broken ). What happen to myself? I always tell myself must be stronger and cannot fall down so easily.

Actually what happen to me in this few days? I already 4 month ( included this month ) working in this new company and i understand this company don't have much work for me to do and they also give me a very high salary when i in. Maybe because of this reason so until now also don't have increment for me=( Tell the truth i really understand WHY & BECAUSE. But sometimes our human very hard to control our emotion and feeling because until now i really felt sad and no mood to do my work d. Maybe this is a challenge for me??

I know that's is no miracle will come out anymore =( What i can do is just do my best and best for all the work and hopefully in further future have any changes for me=)

Just now 10 minute ago i received a news that's my company 2 malay factory worker can get increment rm 200 each person but me nothing can get?? I'm really so sad and wanna cry it all that time. Why?? Why?? I keep asking myself Why? AM i did wrong thing or my personality have problem?? I don't know what happen and why they didn't give me a increment ?? i can say i really try my best and best done all the work but finally what i getting is the Zero Increment. So sad~

I don't know who should i telling and i feel very suffer because every times i act nth happen in my bf, family ,friend and also at office. Very suffering to act this at office after i know that Malay worker can get increment and I'm nothing. Who am i?? Should i still stay in this company or find another job? I really don't know how to do =( Now i start study d and if i really want leave this company also need to think about my studies. Now i wishing to go PUTRAJAYA bridge and scream at there loudly .......Who can teach me what should i do now??